a tug at my heart.

time at camp has been so good for me.

it is exactly what i have needed.
and what God really needed me to see, was that i need to take care of my own heart, and follow it, and give God my whole heart and my whole life. EVERY single part of it.

and that is HUGE for me.
God is also teaching me about patience, loving others, and being a leader is definitely bringing lots of challenges. the constant thought in my head is that God does not give us anything we can't handle. so it has definitely been very challenging, but God is providing me with a heart that is getting through the trials he is placing in front of me.
the beginning of the summer was a little bit rough. but God made my heart stronger and made me lean on Him more than ever.
and slowly but surely He is making this summer a ton better by making me a better leader, and a better servant of Christ.
a couple days ago, family camp #4 started. my parents are here for the week and my sister surprised me and was here till this afternoon. that was a blessing to be with my whole family for a couple days.

yesterday God confirmed in my heart more about me going to mexico.
and then this morning, i had the first conversation about it with my parents, and they didn't seem surprised at all, and took it a lot better than i thought. and they also weren't surprised that i have this strong of a heart for missions and serving the rest of my life.
which made me wonder if their reaction was another confirmation in this whole thing.
and then i was talking with a camper and family friend about what i really am passionate about and where my heart is at with missions and everything and he said over and over again, "go for it no matter what. don't let anything stop you. i had a lot of dreams of doing something like that and i just sort of got sucked into the corporate world and had hopes of starting a family and stuff. but if you do it and stuff tell me and i would love to support you."
so now i already have someone that wants to support me being a missionary. this has to be a sign of this being a plan for my life.

then right after lunch, after i said goodbye to my sister before she left, my dad and i went on a walk, and got a shake together.
and talked about it all.
and he tells me to finish college and then go to mexico. and then we just contemplated so much about it.
but i definitely feel such a strong tug on my heart for ministry there. and if it isn't mexico where i am suppose to be, then wherever God leads me, i will go.
so whoever reads this, prayer for direction and God just having a stronger hold on my heart and that He would continue to prepare my heart for whatever plan he has for me. and that He would continue to challenge me and love me and fill me up with this joy that i have been continuing to have since God turned my life around in april.

God is good and ever so faithful to those that desire him as much as he desires us.

♥