tapping into the heart of middle school.

so i am sitting here, feeling many different feelings.
one of them being i wonder if anyone even reads this. or am i just talking to myself.
two, feeling like i should probably start to pack up my room.
three, packing? woah. im packing up my life here this last year? and then i start to reflect. and usually end in a few tears of joy.
four, finals are this week. shoot! i should study!
and then another feeling is, avoiding packing and studying, and just looking through old pictures on my computer.

so i did that. and went down memory lane.
and felt my heart clench when i went past the pictures from when i was an elevate small group leader.

i started to bawl.
i absolutely loved. seeing those girls every week.
even though sometimes it would be rough, and one or two girls wouldn't give me the time of day to tap into their lives, i still did everything i could, and trusted that God had control of it all. and that he would use me in whatever way possible to be there for these girls and lead them to God.
i would cry almost every week for the last couple months before graduating them into impact (the high school ministry). when matt mccoy would let them sing out the lyrics during worship and him not sing, just hearing their voices made my heart so full.
i would get so choked up. it was so beautiful. i felt like everytime i heard that God just kept saying to me "this is it. these are the kids are you are called to lead. they are the generation that is gonna make a difference in this world. these kids have the strength to do it." i just kept loving hearing them worship, and just feeling like they are gonna really shock the world with the way God is gonna lead them. and knowing that God is using them to show the love of God to the world, just made my heart so warm and full in so many ways.
these kids changed my life. every week when we would discuss the service in small group. i would try to impact them. but i felt like i would get more out of it from them. they would probably say the opposite. its just so crazy.
i have felt so many times like maybe working with jr. high kids after college is something i am really called to do. cuz they continue to set my heart on fire for the Lord in really cool ways.
You can learn so much from a junior high kid. Don't ever underestimate them. they are some of the best people i know.
<3